Thursday, January 20, 2011

Duuuuhhhhh......

After running errands with my 11 year old daughter, then picking up my 6 year old son from Kindergarten, I needed to stop at the grocery store. I hurried around the store, picking up this and that, then headed for the self-checkout lanes.

I swipe my club card; "Invalid phone number." Huh?

I swipe my club card again; "Invalid phone number." OK, now, this is getting annoying!

As the attendant walks by, I say to her, "My club card won't work." She looks at it, and says "It's a King Soopers card." I explain that I know, but that it's always worked before, since King Soopers & City Market are BOTH Kroeger stores; after all, I've been using that card at City Market since I moved to GJ 1.5 years ago! 

She looks at me, smiles sweetly, and says, "This is Safeway."

As I said earlier: Duuuuhhhhh......

SQUIRREL!!!

I seem to be having more and more trouble keeping my thoughts in order. There always seems to be something distracting me. It's like a squirrel stopped to have a snack on the railroad tracks in front of the train my brain is on, and when the train hit it, the train derailed. Most of the cars have fallen into a ravine sooooo deep that there is absolutely NO HOPE of getting them out. Some are hanging off the edge in such a precarious position that I hope a butterfly doesn't fly by; the gentle flutter of the wings as it passes by could very well be enough to knock the car over the edge! 

Not one of the cars is unaffected by the derailment caused by the squirrel (though some are more affected than others). Though some of the cars may be nudged just a bit off track, it's enough to stop the train completely. Sometimes it's just that there were only a couple of cars in this train to begin with; sometimes it's a VERY large squirrel! Either way, the damage is done, and my brain must start over from scratch.

What does this all mean for us 'airheads'?

SQUIRREL!!!

I don't remember -- I lost my train of thought!

New story....

New story....

Devon's car is in the shop, so he took mine back to GJ. After 2 days without a car, I rented one. I got it during the day, and it's pretty simple to operate.

Last night, after work, I stopped at the grocery store. I shut off the car, and....

..."How the HECK do I turn off the headlights?!" Duhhhhhh..... I didn't remember turning them on..... 

Now I know: they turn on & off automatically. Unlike my own car. I can hear Napoleon Dynamite's brother singing now: "I love technology, not as much as you you see! Still, I love technology, always and forever." 

He's right--I don't love technology as much as he does.

I've Lost My Mind (or, "It's been sucked out by parasites!")

I knew I was in trouble the second time I locked Aidan in the car--WITH my keys still in it. I was dropping the girls off at school, and got out of the car to get their backpacks out of the trunk & hug them good-bye. I slammed the door, and...

"Oh, crap!" I had mindlessly locked the doors, leaving my 18 month old son asleep in his carseat. Now what? A mom who knows me fairly well is laughing. "No, no AAA." "Yes, I have a spare, but it's in the car." "No, Devon can't come unlock it. He works downtown and rides the bus to work. It would be at least an hour!" Hmmm...

Tap-tap-tap! "Aidan, wake up! Aidan!" He looks at me groggily. "Aidan, can you unlock the door with your foot?" He couldn't reach the lock with his hand, because he was buckled properly. He had learned to LOCK the door with his foot, but not UNlock it. He shook his head and said something, but I couldn't hear it through the closed window. "Aidan, Mommy is locked out of the car. Can you try to use your foot to unlock the door?" He shook his head "no" again, saying something I still could not hear. Am I going to have to call the police? I feel like such an idiot! "Please, Aidan, just try to reach the lock with your toe!" He says something else, then...

...rolls the window down, saying "Mom, I can't hear you!" Why didn't I think of that? "Aidan, you're a genius!" 

So, that's the story of how I discovered that my toddler sucked out all of my brain cells while I was pregnant with him...